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1. 

   katstu5

   101 Kudos

   08/14/09

   Ann-Do you know that you are the real reason I joined this group? Thank you for responding. There are so many responses to the hows and whys, but the fact remains that there are children to be taken care of and made a priority-and there is a lot of hurt. My husband did a very inconsiderate and intolerable thing, but at the moment he made this decision it was just that-a choice- that everyone involved with will have learn to live with. You have given good advice (neither for or against anyone, just advice-the facts) that makes me believe it will work out for me in the end. It won't be perfect, but what in life is.................

   08/14/09

   Reply from wblessed:

   There is no black & white solution to this mess created by two selfish people (ws & ow) with no regard for anyone else. You have to do some self examination and determine what you will and what you will not live with and then as you get further along in recovery start setting boundaries with predefined consequences and follow through on them. I was cautious to set any boundary I was not confident I could keep. To me, an broken boundary without consequences was worse than one not set. You also may want to go to marriagbuilders.com It is a very good sight. I can't stress enough that in my opinion there needs to be nc between your h and the ow without you involved.
   Any c excluding you is a second OC waiting to happen. I never understood the depths of the pain of betrayal until now and truly no one can tell you what to do. It is your life and only you are the one living it. Just take it day by day, and even hour by hour when you have to and you will be ok.
   
   God Bless You
   Ann

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